When David and I first moved in together, he was giving me a ration of crap for how many clothes I had. He jokingly offered some to the neighbor, my sisters, everyone he talked to. I tried explaining to him that I honestly had less than most girls, but obviously its more than him. Then, I tried explaining to him that a girl isnt the same size every day. That some days, I could wear my size 2 pants and some days, well...I needed the 6's. The quizzical look on his face was as if I was trying to explain how to create a rip in the time/space continuum. I just smiled and said it was so I could look pretty. Much easier.
The moral to that story? I am glad that I kept those clothes. Otherwise I'd be naked. For those of you that dont know, I've been sick for the last two months. As such, I was put on a very, very high dosage of steroids. Yeah, those things that make you rage like the Hulk and cry at telephone commercials... while you are shoving your face with food. Get angry? Go eat a cookie. Sad? Get some ice cream. Frustrated? Well, that deserves a brownie. I wasnt that bad, I actually did eat mostly healthy...but, I did gain weight. Not alot, but according to the Dr, I've gained 8lbs since November (I'm just going to round and say 10lbs. Its easier mathematically for this pollock). I'm now off of the steroids and the antibiotics. And feel a hundred percent better.
So here I sit, 10lbs heavier than I was two months ago. Thank goodness the acne has gone away so I'm not mistaken for a really angry Emo. But, the weight hasnt. David told me at the beginning of the steroids whatever I gained, he would lose with me when I was ready. Well, I'm ready. I'd like to lose 15lbs. That knocks off the extra few pounds that have been sneakily following me for the last few years, the remnant of delicious, delicious french fries and cheese, I'm sure. Do I have a plan yet? Kind of. Do I still have crappy food in the house? You betcha. Last night I had some vanilla ice cream with a fresh banana and two tablespoons of hot fudge over the top of it. Delish. Probably set me back about 450 calories. After years and years of reading labels, its pretty easy for me to guesstimate how much is in what.
I went for a bike ride the other day, nothing too strenuous or over exerting. I need to slowly get back into the swing of things. After all, I was in a wheelchair at the Diamondbacks game two weeks ago having difficulty walking. But, what I can control is what I put in my mouth. I used to think that I "deserved" something if I had a crappy day at work. Or, if I got a promotion or a bonus at work. My family is huge on food. Its celebratory, its something when you're depressed, its comforting. We all know the seriousness of any illness in our little clan when we say, "I'm not even hungry". That, I think is where it crosses the borderline of a cold and... uh oh, theres something really wrong here! Call the ambulance!! This Radder isnt eating! Get some soup, STAT! Comparatively, we are like goats. And if you saw a goat not wanting to eat clothes, rubber bands, tree leaves or a Spiderman comic book, well... you'd call the vet.
Moderation is key. Am I going to stop eating my treats? No. But, if I moderate what I eat, how much of it I eat and when I eat it... I'll start getting back to where I was. It'll be a daily struggle for me, as I am currently at home, unemployed, not fully able to do all my tasks yet to get me back out into the workforce. Translation- the fridge is like 15 steps away from me.
The important thing is to watch my diet. Actually watch it. And care about what I eat. I remember when I first started dieting, the first thing that I did was look at the caloric content of what is in what. I knew how many calories were in that piece of delicious cheese. Or, in that meal at a restaurant (yes, I actually went to the website if I was going out to eat to look at the nutritional content of what was in what, chose what I wanted to order that way I wouldnt be tempted when I got there). If something didnt taste good I had this astounding idea. I DONT HAVE TO EAT IT. Holy crap. I didnt think of this before. I was a founding member of the clean your plate club. This was a revolation. Probably like what Thomas Edison felt like when he invented the light bulb. . .
So today, I leave you with this thought. Dont eat anything just because its there. Because it fills the void. Eat something healthy, because you want to eat it. Enjoy it. Savor it. One of my favorites? Try an Entemanns Sandwich Thin (100 calories) with a Boca Chickn sandwich patty (160 calories). I like onion, pickles and lettuce on it (depending on how atrocious my food intake was that day, I'll put cheese on it too). I swear it tastes like the McChicken, but without all the gnardy pieces in it (you all know what I'm talking about). Then, serve it with sweet potato fries (baked). NOM!
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